“Cute, But Psycho. But Cute.”

Last week, I discovered an amazing new retail store – Damselfly. A friend sent me a link to one of those Buzzfeed articles that was filled with gifts to buy someone who hates other people, and a Damselfly candle was listed in the article. After finding their website, I learned that they have an entire collection of “Naughty Candles.” Now, let me explain; this does not mean what you think it means. The company carries “Nice Candles” as well, but the “Naughty Candles” are the hilarious ones because they’re slightly offensive and slightly offensive retail items are my favorite kind of retail items. Some of the candles say things like:

“I want you to know that someone cares. Not me, but someone.”

Or

“Nobody cares, work harder.”

They are great. All of them are great. In fact, if they didn’t cost $50 a candle, I’d own seven of them right now because I love slightly offensive things. But then, as I was scrolling through the long list of candles that they offer, I found the one that describes me. I had been taking screenshots and sending them to friends that they reminded me of, but I’d finally found the one that I resonated with, and this is what it said:

“Cute, but psycho. But cute.”

At first, I was sad. All of these offensive candles that are hilarious, and the one stinkin’ candle that describes me is the one about being psycho. Why? Why do I have to be so crazy? I mean, I’ve known that I’m a lot to handle since I was pretty young; I’ve pretty much been called a drama queen by everyone in my life at this point. (Even my mom has called me a drama queen, which I think might be just a tad hypocritical – the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree if you know what I mean).

Middle school was the first time that a boy ever called me “crazy,” so by the time that I’d hit high school, I was trying my best to suppress every ounce of crazy that I had in me. (This didn’t work super well because, if you didn’t know, it’s really hard to just swallow a part of your personality).

I watched girls date boys and get called “psycho girlfriends” or “psycho ex-girlfriends,” and I never wanted to be that girl. I wanted to be “chill” and “cool.” I didn’t want to ever “freak out” about anything and have a boy call me a “psycho.” Even if was really upset about something that had happened that concerned a boy, I would never tell them because my worst fear in life was being called a “psycho.”

Fast forward four years, and I’ve mellowed a little – not a lot, but a little. I’ve also learned a lot about being a girl who’s maybe a little bit more of a drama queen than everyone else:

  1. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a little bit of crazy in them. Even the girls who seem like the most chill girlfriends of all time have something that makes them insane. And even the boys who don’t seem to care about anything at all will someday freak out about something in life. Maybe everyone’s trying their best to hide it or maybe some people just haven’t found what makes them crazy yet, but something does. At some point in life, no matter how calm you are in relation to other people, something will happen, and you will flip out. That’s just how life is. Everyone is a little crazy.
  1. The right person is going to love you even when you’re being crazy. I used to have this idea that if I just pretended like I wasn’t crazy, then I could convince some boy to fall in love with me. It turns out, that’s not how relationships work, but I just didn’t know that yet. If you’re with the right person, they’re going to love you even when you’re crying and making pasta at 4 am because you’ve just finished Fox and the Hound for the 400th time and still can’t seem to control your emotions.
  1. The person that you’re actually supposed to be with is not going to make you that crazy. Sure, I totally believe in a healthy amount of fighting (if everything is all rainbows and butterflies all the time, you probably have some issues), but it shouldn’t be so bad that you actually feel like a crazy girlfriend. If you’re dating a boy who makes you feel crazy or, even worse, calls you crazy, he’s maybe not the one. If I’m dating someone who’s constantly pushing my buttons or constantly making me feel like I’m losing it, I probably need to be looking another direction for the man I’m going to marry.
  1. Embrace your crazy. Sometimes, it’s fun to be crazy. Sometimes, you just have to be the girl that will try anything. Sometimes, it’s fun to say yes to every adventure. Sometimes, you have to pack your bags and take a risk. Sometimes, you have to be crazy. I used to resent the fact that I’m always the crazy one in the friend group, but now, I realize that I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if I weren’t crazy, and someday, some stupid boy is going to love me even though I have full-blown panic attacks when I run out of eyeliner on Tuesday mornings before work.

Until then, stay crazy, my friends.

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