My Reoccurring Nightmare

Job searching is a literal nightmare.

And by “nightmare,” I mean “the worst possible thing you could ever have to do in your whole entire life.” I’m fairly convinced that once I find a job that I’m mildly happy at with an okay salary, I’ll just stay at it forever because I’ll never want to deal with job searching ever again.

Maybe it’s worse for Millennials today because every entry-level position on the face of the planet requires a minimum of 3 years experience (someone please explain how I’m ever supposed to get a job). Or maybe job searching has gotten harder because your resume has to make it through an automated system successfully before a human will ever take a look at the one piece of paper that is supposed to highlight all of your life’s accomplishments. Or maybe it sucks because you’re not allowed to write “I’m a really hard worker – plz hire me” on your resume and be considered an actual candidate.

Seriously, there are so many factors that make job searching a horrible, horrible experience, especially if you’re looking for a job in your field that will make you happy and make you money (LOL at my English degree).

Because most company’s use those automated-resume-checker-thingys (if they have a name, I’m not aware of it), the majority of experts suggest that people hire a professional resume writer to complete their first resume. That sounds like a great idea, except for the fact that I have a degree in writing, and it really shouldn’t be that difficult for me to put a few “power” verbs on a piece of paper and land an interview. After sending in hundreds of resumes and cover letters to hundreds of different positions and never getting an interview for even one single position, I looked into it.

Do you know how much it costs to get your resume professionally written so that it’ll make it through the automated-resume checker-thingys? It costs around $400 to get an entry-level resume written (after you’ve moved up the ladder a bit, it can cost over $1000 just to get your resume rewritten in order to get a better position). $400!!!! If I wanted a professional to write my resume, I would have to get a job to make the $400 just to get my resume written in order for me to land another job! It’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to pay that much money just to prove to someone that my skills are deserving of an interview.

The second set of advice that experts (and my mom) give people who are having a difficult time when job searching is to actually reach out to the hiring manager or human resources coordinator directly. They advise people to send an email or make a phone call asking if they received your resume and letting them know how interested you are in the position. If you speak with the person doing the hiring directly, there’s a higher chance that they’ll take a look at your resume.

That’s such a load of crap. Over the last six months, I’ve probably called almost 100 companies asking to speak to whoever was doing the hiring for certain positions that I was interested in. Every single time, I’ve been shot down. Every time. Not half of the time, every time. They always tell me that there’s nothing they can do until my resume has made it through the system. They tell me to wait for an email, and they’ll contact me if they want to interview me.

It never happens, I never receive an email, and I never get an interview.

Back in February, I got a really cool internship with Bridesmaid for Hire. It’s a social media internship, and it has given me big dreams of landing a job in which my sole purpose is to write online. It’s amazing, and I love it. But I didn’t get the internship because I applied to a job posting online, and I didn’t get the internship because I sent in a resume to a large corporation.

I got it because I read a cool story about a girl on the Cosmo Snapchat story on the way to work. While sitting at a stoplight that morning, I sent an email that was maybe four sentences long telling her how awesome I thought her company was. That’s how I got my super fantastic social media internship that I’m completely in love with, not by sending in a resume to a human resources department that will never even speak with me directly.

Everyday, I spend a few hours online browsing through job postings and deciding which ones are actually worth it for me to type out a brand new cover letter to. Most days, I’m still really positive about it, and I know that eventually someone will give me a chance. But some days, I dream of getting a nanny position in NYC and starting all over (again).

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