This One’s for the Girls

A few weeks ago, the only other 20something girl in my office got engaged. Her engagement was beautiful and her fiancé seems perfect. Naturally, their engagement and upcoming wedding has filled a lot of our conversations lately. Upcoming weddings always provide new things to talk about, especially in an office where no one really knows each other that well. At first, we were all asking how long they’d been together and where they’d met. Then, an older man in our office turned to me and said, “So Kaelly, you’re up next! When do you think you’ll get engaged?”

“Me? Oh, I don’t even have a boyfriend. I’m one of those perpetually single girls,” I said as a painfully laughed while everyone stared at me with blank faces.

“Oh, really? Why do you think that is?” he asked.

Then I just sat there. Ummmm, excuse me? Why do I think I’m perpetually single? After like a whole minute of silence, I realized he actually wanted me to answer and forced myself to awkwardly laugh and said, “Oh I don’t know. I just am I guess.”

“No really. Why do you think you’re perpetually single?” he said.

Again, everyone just sat there and waited for me to answer the question like I had this big bad magical secret that was keeping me single. Seriously, what did he want me to say? There are probably dozens of reasons! I wound up laughing it off, mumbled something about being a super lame human, and walked out of the room. I’m not sure what happened next, but I can only assume that it was uncomfortable.

But it got me thinking: why am I single? Is there one reason? Is this something I should actually be thinking about? After much thought, here are 10 reasons why I may, in fact, be perpetually single:

  1. Maybe it’s because I care more about binge watching Netflix than I ever have about going on a first date.
  1. Maybe it’s because I’m not responsible enough to replace my makeup when I should, and I wind up with 2-year-old makeup caked on my face.
  1. Maybe it’s because I don’t even wear makeup that often.
  1. Maybe it’s because I choose ice cream for dinner instead of cooking more nights than I’d like to admit.
  1. Maybe it’s because I’m emotionally attached to my computer and don’t plan on ending that relationship anytime soon.
  1. Maybe it’s because all of the decorations in my room are still hand-painted canvases, instead of real, adult art. (Ok, fine, you caught me. I’m never buying adult art.)
  1. Maybe it’s because I’ll never be the kind of person who makes their bed every morning because honestly, it’s just a waste of time.
  1. Maybe it’s because I care way too much about my little brother’s football team and just really don’t have the time or energy to try and care about another human being too.
  1. Maybe it’s because I will always, 100% of the time choose a $5 latte at Starbucks over saving for my retirement.
  1. Or maybe MAYBE it’s just because I’m a 21-year-old girl who doesn’t have to have the rest of my life figured out right this very second. And maybe you shouldn’t ask when I’m going to get engaged if it’s none of your damn business (even if there are new engagements on Facebook literally every single day).

Okay, rant over. But seriously, stop asking single girls why they’re single or when they’re going to get married. It gets old and annoying – and honestly, it’s just a hard question to answer! If I knew the magical secret behind my singleness, I probably wouldn’t be single anymore. (Or maybe I would, who knows?)


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