Dear PSL Haters,
Let me first say how happy I am for you and your distaste for my beloved pumpkin spice. (No, this is not one of those petty “I’m-so-happy-for-you-but-really-I’m-not-happy-for-you-at-all” sorta deals.) I’m actually really, genuinely happy for you. Why? Because every fall, I spend a ridiculous amount of money (and calories) on the delicious PSL with no hesitation at all. I wish I were like you! I really do! If I just hated the drink, I would have a lot more money and be a lot skinnier (like I’m sure you are). But alas, I love it and will continue to spend every penny I own buying the scrumptious latte.
I understand that you don’t like pumpkin spice lattes or anything pumpkin flavored (you probably even hate happiness, but that’s beside the point), and that’s okay. I accept you for who you are and your choice to disregard every pumpkin flavored item that boosts the American economy every year between September and November.
But let me also remind you that no one is forcing you to participate in said pumpkin activities. This morning, while I was standing in Starbucks, minding my own business, and ordering my very first PSL of the season (whilst feeling harsh judgment from every other person in the building), I overheard a conversation between two PSL Haters. They were discussing their distaste for pumpkin spice lattes and how they wished that certain coffee companies would refrain from “shoving pumpkin down [their] throats when it’s not even technically fall yet.”
I’m sorry, but let’s rewind a bit shall we. As previously mentioned, I was the person who ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte, and my throat was the only throat that I was planning on “shoving” the drink down (no, I will not be sharing – thanks for asking). These two aggravated customers were so upset that Starbucks had released a fall drink three weeks prior to the actual beginning of fall that they felt as though the company was literally trying to force it upon them.
Now I assume that the two aforementioned customers did not order Pumpkin Spice Lattes for themselves, but I’ve been wrong before. Maybe they actually thought that everyone is required to drink PSLs during PSL season.
But, folks, here’s the deal: no one is forcing you to participate in the pumpkin-spice-season – no one at all. If you don’t enjoy pumpkins (or happiness), don’t buy pumpkins, pumpkin pie, or anything pumpkin spice. It’s in no way a requirement, and no one will reprimand you for said avoidance.
When the peppermint mocha is released prior to Christmas, no one seems to get their panties in a wad. Instead, the excited peppermint-mocha-fans simply skip their way into their nearest Starbucks and order their most favorite drink. If we’re not name-calling and coffee-shaming those who order the peppermint mocha, then why must we do it to the PSL drinkers?
I think we should all take a vow this pumpkin-spice-season. We should vow to drink the coffee that we love, and we should vow to allow others to drink the coffee that they love – no name-calling or coffee-shaming involved. Instead, let’s just embrace Fall for the wonderful season that it is, and leave coffee out of it all together. Strap up your boats, wrap up your scarf, and get on your merry, pumpkin-less-coffee way.
An Avid Pumpkin Spice Latte Drinker (Why yes, I did have one today.)